I posted the following observation on the social network formerly known as Twitter, and it got some positive reactions, so I’ll post it here too.
The idea of self-love is a popular one, yet it always seemed convoluted to me, as if one is separating oneself into two parts: one that is the source of love, and one that is its recipient.
The closest thing to self-love that I can relate to, and think is likely more holy, is to know one’s own value.
One person responded to this idea by suggesting that self-love could be loving one’s “ego self.” I suppose this implies that the self is already split in actuality, into something like the “higher self” or whatever and the egoic self. This seems fair enough, though I can’t personally relate to it. I don’t know how to love from something that’s not my ego, or maybe my spirit and ego are so well-integrated that there’s no separating them.
He also compared self-love to self-compassion. While it’s closely related to self-love, this idea somehow sits a little better with me. I’ve tried practicing self-compassion now and then, and I think it’s actually useful, healing and healthy, even though it does seem to imply creating a model of oneself and regarding it as a separate third person.
The idea of self-compassion seems analogous to the helpful idea that one should issue self-talk, or regard and judge oneself, in the same way one would a good friend, especially in order to avoid the common psychological pitfall of being one’s own worst enemy.
